When your Russian for food there is no time for Stalin….
Little Boy: What will communism be like when perfected?
His Father: Everyone will have what he needs.
Little Boy: But what if there is a shortage of meat?
His Father: There will be a sign in the butcher shop saying, “No one needs meat today.”
A Soviet man is waiting in line to purchase vodka from a liquor store, but due to restrictions imposed by Gorbachev, the line is very long. The man loses his composure and screams, “I can’t take this waiting in line anymore, I HATE Gorbachev, I am going to the Kremlin right now, and I am going to kill him!”
After 40 minutes the man returns and elbows his way back to his place in line. One man asks him if he has succeeded in killing Gorbachev.
“No,” he responds. “That line was even longer.”
What did communists use to light their homes with before using candles? Electricity.
A man walks into a Russian shop. He asks the clerk, “You don’t have any meat?” The clerk says, “No, here we don’t have any fish. The shop that doesn’t have any meat is across the street.”
Q: What would happen if the desert became communist?
A: Nothing for a while, and then there would be a sand shortage.
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